Animal Story

My name is Frank, and I'm a lizard. My owner never lets me out of this dang tank. I have this flap thingy around my neck. Why i have it I do not know. "I wonder if I jump off this tank, will I fly? I could be like an umbrella floating down. That would be fun. I wonder if my owner left the cage unlocked today. Yay! He did. Lets try out this flappy ma bob around my neck." I peer over the side of the cage. "Wow! That is far. But, here goes nothing. Woohoo!" I run off the tank and into the air. My flappy thing catches air and it spreads out wide. "I feel like an umbrella, abut without the water hitting the top of my head." I begin making my way down the hallway. I come across a room which i do not recognize, but the humans call it the Bathroom. "Wow! This room has lots of big things. Wow! It's like a big bowl just for water! What's that? Oh my god! I love peanuts. This must be a food dispenser of some sort! Mmmmmmm! Tastes pretty good. The brown mushy stuff makes it a whole lot better. This must be what they call chocolate. These people have it made. Hmmm...why would they throw away these chocolate flavored papers? These humans really don't like what they have i guess." I Get out of the food dispensing bowl and I land on the floor. "Wow! What is this cushiony thing that i landed on. TAM-P-ON? Tampon? I think that's what it says. This sure is soft, I think I'll just take a nap here." I fall asleep. I begin to awaken from my slumber. "Ahhhh....I am so refreshed. I think I'll eat more chocolate. What the....?" I look around me, and I'm back in my tank.

Friendship (poem)

<sub>The friends that say they have your back

The friends that turn out to play with your heart

All act the same at the very start

Before you know it some will leave, you'll be in denial

Others stay at your side, those are the ones worthwhile</sub>

Coach (sitcom)

Coach
Scene: karen is being newly ontroduced to the crew, it's the first day on the job

[on plane, gilbert and karen enter, gilbert has a clipboard, and karen is struggling to clip on name tag while paying attention]

Gilbert: and this is your station. 1A- 24C is your responsibility. NEVER leave your station. We pride ourselves on integrity, honesty, speedy service [continues ranting with back turned, Britney enter and notices karen]

Britney: Ooh my god TAnya! [squeals throws pillows she was holding and claps hands excitedly, rushes to karen and pulls her away from an unsuspecting gilbert] Tanya! Tanya!

[enter next level, yanya is putting away pillows that britney was supposed to be helping her with]

Britney: Tanya! Look!

Tanya: Jeez Britney, did you put the damn pillows away like i told you?

Britney: [brushes her off- takes pillows from tanya and throws them aside] It's teh new trainee!

Karen: [babbles incoherently, trying to find teh words to introduce herself- flustered]

Tanya:...the new trainee? what happened to the..uh what's her name, Tif? Tiffany?

[karen is standing between the two girls-she is short so they tower over here as they discuss]

Britney: Oh...i'm not sure. last time i saw her was on friday. i think she was asking about restrooms or something and i pointed to where they were, but i haven't seen her since...ANYWAY don't you like her smile? [britney pulls karen's cheeks, karen fidgests uncomfortable]

Tanya: [sighs] well welcome aboard- your the third one this month.

Britney: no it's like..um, like..[appears to be thinking hard, counting, makes gestures {improv}] 2..maybe..no...

Tanya: [shoves pillows at britney, who stumbles] GO. [points to stairs]

Britney: But Tany-

Tanya: Britney- GO

Karen: ummm [is ignored] i'm gonna go [is still ignored while they bicker. tries to sneak away]

Britney: [grabs karen] but the new trainee tanya! what if she wants to do the pillows? [tanya gives a skeptical look]

Karen: [finally has courage to speak up] well actually-

[gilbert enters]

Gilbert: KAREN! what did i say about leaving yoru station! Your compromising the integrity of this airline! Do you want to get fired [steps into karen enphasizing and spitting every word] do you want to lose the job you worked to get? OBVIOUSLY! And you two! wher eyou having a pillow fight? this isnt' a lesbian pornography ladies. Get back to work!

Tanya: Give it a rest jeeves

Britney: your such a party pooper gil, we WERE working [turns to karen and whispers] he's just mad because he had the hots for me and found out i was lesbian

Gilbert: what was that! [karen all the while is stunned]

Britney: I said that you're just md cuz me and Tanya are life parter and you had the hots for. [patters out of the room. few seconds later patters back in, grabs a pillow and patters away]

SCENE 2

[flight is already taking place, all passengers are boarded, Britney is bickering with a male passenger]

Britney: look sir you don't need fat free sugar for your water.

Passanger 1: yes- i do.

Britney: you'll only attract ants sir.

Passanger 1: your in a plane lady no ants can get on here.

Britney: [ disgusted] Ants CAN fly

Passanger 1: this is rediculous. i demand to see your manager

Britney: he's busy with the poor people side. if you want to see him you'll have to wait.

Passanger 1: look you!

Britney: look at what!

Passanger 1: Argh! Get me another stewardardess, or somebody who can actually provide me with help!

Britney: ther's no one named stewart though.. but if it's help you need, ok [leaves passanger]

Passanger 1: [to passanger 2] can you believe the service on this plane?

Passanger 2: i know, you'd think they would be a bit taller.

Passanger 1: [gives a wtf look]

[tanya is putting away food articles on storage leve, britney enters]

Britney: Gosh some passangers can be so rude, they dont even know math

Tanya: hey brit, whats wrong now

Britney: a passanger on the coach level thinks he can put sugar in water and no ants will show up.

Tanya: but how is that math?


Britney: water plus sugar equals ants. i thought you went to college tanya..

Tanya: [shakes head] what passanger needs the help?

Britney: you can't miss him, he has tubes coming out of his nose.

[enter tanya to coach level, goes to sick man]

Tanya: I heard there was a problem here.

Passanger 1: look lady- i need some fricken' sugar water for my diabetes

Tanya: i apologize for the delay, we will get that for you right away sir.

Passanger 1: will it hav sugar this time?

Tanya: yes sir. [passes karen, and stops her] hey, get some sugar water for tubes over there.

SCENE 3

[gilbert is in main room aand karen walk in on speech with sugar water in her hand]

Gilbert: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, My name is Gilbert and i will be your attendant for this evening. We will be serving dinner shorty so lease keep all children seated. If additional assistance is needed, don't hesitate to ask.

[karen tries to make her way to passanger 1, but is tripping over items, trying to keep the water from spilling, and is making a rucus. gilbert glares at karen]

Gilbert: Our flight will land in 1 hour and the menus for tonite is chicken and green beans. Thank you for flying coach. [pulls karen aside who is about to hand the drink to passanger 1, almost spills it]

Britney: Gil i thought you said you hated it when people asked for your help? [gilbert slaps his forehead and turns back to karen, much more angered]

Gilbert: NEVER interrupt me when i am speaking to the passengers. Do you have ANY idea how rude it is!

Passanger 1: My water-

Gilbert: One MOMENT sir [grabs cup from karen to emphasize his point]

Passanger 1: Give me my water! [clutches at glass and is in a tug-o-war like fight with gilbert]

Gilbert: Give me my WATER!

Passanger 1: It's not YOUR water it's MINE!

Karen: uh.. please just-

Passanger 1 and Gilbert: BE QUIET!

[karen accepts defeat and backs away, leaving them to quarrel]

Britney: [is on her way out of the room when she hears a noise coming out of the closet- the door is jammed as she struggles with it, it opens and the stewardess who disappeared falls out]

Britney: Hey! look Gilbert, it's the girl who disappeared! [gilbert drops the glass on the mans head, clearly stunned]

Disappeared Stewardess: water!

[all passangers scream and start running amok, Tanya walks in holding a pillow, observes everything for a while, shakes her head throws the pillow and walks out]

END SCENE.

Dread

"Mommy!" she cried. I stumbled out of bed and grabbed my body to Sara's bedroom in a zombie -like motion. "Is it the monster again?" I asked in a groggy tone. For the second time tonight she woke me up for some imaginary thing she made up in her head. As I walk into the room she is under her blanket. "He's back mommy." she said with trembling lips. "Where is he this time?" I said while rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "He went into my closet." I walked towards the closet and as I open it I say to her, "There is no one in here honey." as I opened the closed staring into my daughter's tearing eyes. "Mommy!" she shrieked. I awake in a room consumed with darkness; I crawl in search for anything familiar. I slide my hands against a wall, and then a light comes on behind me. I turn in shock for what I saw was a bed with my daughter placed upon it. I run towards her but I run into an invisible wall, and I figured that it was plexy glass or something. I bang on the glass and call her name, but she can't hear me. The door to her room opens and a man appears with his identity concealed with a black ski mask. Behind that mask I felt he was smirking at me. He sluggishly approached Sara and I feared the worst. I bang on the glass harder and scream for Sara. He runs his fingers through her hair. "NOOOOOO!" I scream. "Leave her alone!" But my cries for her have no effect. He stops and walks towards me and puts his hands against the glass. He knew I was watching. The next thing I knew, the lights shut off and again I am engulfed by darkness, unaware of what is to become of my Sara behind that glass. I can't help her, not this time.

Gassy Horror! (Internal Monologue)

I am in class, everyone is silently reading, and I develop a bad case of gas. I hear my stomach silently gurgle, and I know what wants to come and slip out of the basement. "Oh no, please no. Everyone is quiet. Everyone will hear me." I begin to fidget in my seat because I am desperately trying to fight beast that wants to be released. "Oh my god, I had to eat those burritos for lunch, didn't I. What a stupid mistake. To make matters worse, I had to get gas at the most horrible moment of class. Please Erik, don't fart in front of everyone, everyone will laugh at the sound and make fun of you" I tap my foot viciously, and I am dreading each minute that passes by. "If only I had my agenda so I can go to the restroom. At least I could fart along the way, and fart in the restroom. This is so embarrassing." I turn the pages of my book, and it makes a loud enough sound that I think up of a plan. "I should just far slowly and lightly while turning the pages so that maybe people wont hear me." I release some of the gas, but this person to my left looks at me with curious glance. "Oh my god, I knew someone was going to hear it. Please don't start laughing, then everyone will ask why you're laughing and you will tell them what happened." However, miraculously, he narrowed his focus back to his book. "Oh my god, hopefully he didn't hear. However, I think he did and he is just ignoring it. Oh my god, I really need to get out of this classroom." I look at the clock, "Oh my god, there's still 20 minutes left of this class." I begin to think to myself some more. "Why now! UGH! Why does this have to happen to me? Does this problem happen to anyone else? It sure does not seem like it. I know it is just going to come out on its own free will eventually, I just know it. That is when everyone will hear me. Why I did not stay at home, I do not know. I had to get gas also during SSR, the quietest segment of class, just my luck to. Oh my god, I am still stuck in this class for 15 minutes, the clock is going so slow! Maybe the clocks are running behind today. Oh I hope so. That would be the best, and then I could fart outside of class instead of in it. I would be so relieved if that were to be the case. What are the chances of the clocks being behind though? I don't think that is very likely though, so I probably should not get my hopes up for a miracle like that. 14 minutes left? What the hell! It seems like we have been in this class for the longest time. This SSR crap takes forever. I should just ask my friend if I could just borrow his agenda and use it to go to the restroom. Oh my god, why didn't I think of that before? Never mind, his name is probably all over it, so the teacher wouldn't buy it. I should probably try farting quietly again, see where that takes me...he turned to stare at me again? How can he possibly hear me? Maybe my farts aren't as quiet as I think they are. Ha-ha. This is funny. I keep distracting him from his reading. Maybe he is annoyed by my farting. I wonder what would happen if I were to just let it all go. Just make a big boom in the classroom. That would just be embarrassing, but everyone will laugh and I would probably laugh at the moment as well, but would be embarrassed at the same time. I can just imagine someone else doing that, how funny. 10 minutes left. Of my fucking god! How much longer can this class go for!? For god's sake, he is tormenting me on purpose, I swear! I am so tempted to just run out of this classroom and just let it all out there! My stomach keeps gurgling, NO! Shut up stupid stomach before I stab you. No, I'll never have the guts to stab myself. Sorry tummy. Now, I need something to do to occupy myself and get my attention away from the time. Let’s see. I really can't get up and do anything because I think my gas will just let itself go if I walk around, so that's out of the question. Maybe if I talk to Missy, then the teacher will yell at me and tell me to shut up, and maybe that will make the time go by faster. I love making teachers hush me up. I'm an over excessive talker, I never noticed that. Well, maybe I have noticed it, but I just noticed it right now, at the time being. Oh my god, check myself out, I'm just rambling off like an old oaf. I need to fart so badly, it's not even funny. Haha............fart............that's a funny word. Fart. FART! Shut up stomach, you’re stupid, and I hate you, and I'm sorry for eating that burrito. Next time, I'm sticking to subway. Stupid taco bell, with your bean and cheese goodness. Bean and cheese burrito infatuation. Cheesy potatoes. Maybe the cheese also had to do something with this catastrophic situation I'm in. Haha. Gassy, that's funny also. Two minutes...FINALLY! This SSR crap went by so slow! I'm so excited. I'm going to pack my stuff right now..............Oh my god what does the teacher want now? WHAT! Ten minutes detention because I didn't read? What kind of bull is that!? Oh my god, I'm never going to get rid of this stupid gas.

Freewrite

Today was Valentines Day, a day that was known to be a day full of love, compassion, and affection. I woke up, my nostrils picked up a scent of sweet milk chocolate. As I arose slowly, grinning as I did, my eyes caught glimpse of a stuffed bear at the foot of the bed. Fur like a snowy winter’s day, soft and lush to the touch. I also witnessed lit candles lying on top of my dressers, possibly chocolate scented, making it obvious as to why the room smelled like it did. “Good morning babe.” He said as I was beginning to make myself fully aware of what was going on. There he stood, beneath the threshold. His muscular body, his perfectly chiseled body, perfected muscular tones. He walked towards me, in his silk, red-lipped patterned boxers. I slowly arose from where I lied and I softly tossed him upon the bed. As I crawled on top of him, he placed his hands upon my waist ever so gently. I slowly but passionately kissed his lips. His lips soft, his breath sweet, making me light headed. I slowly made my way down his neck, making him quiver in excitement. I began working my magic upon his perfectly chiseled body. His warmth inflamed my lips as if they were tossed in the pits of hell, and I liked it. I heard him breathing heavily and impatient. As I made him believe that my intentions were to make the quest of going lower I ceased my aroused self just before I reached below his waist line. I looked into his beautiful ocean blue eyes and said, “I need to go to work.” As I lifted myself off his desirably body, he groaned in disbelief and disappointment, but I smiled because I knew that I was a tease. As I readied myself for work, I was thinking about what plans my fiancé had in store for me for when I return from work. As I got into my car, kissed my hubby good bye, I looked forward for what was in store for me that night. However, what I did not know was that my eyes would soon be veiled with red and that I would soon enough be consumed forever in darkness.

I counted away the minutes left until I got to leave work. 6:30, finally! I grabbed my purse, turned of my computer, and took the elevator down to the parking garage; Sarah was next to me to. She walked me to my car, I hugged her goodbye, and I made my way out of the garage. It I arrived back home at exactly seven, and before I went into my home I put on some make up to enhance my beauty. I closed my car door behind me as I made my way to what waited for me. “Click.” I unlocked my door and I entered. It was dark, black as deaths presence. “Honey?” I toggled the light switch, nothing happened. “If this is a joke then you got me. Stop playing!” Next thing I hear, “SMACK!” I feel nothing, I see nothing, and I hear nothing. I woke up in a room, a room red as wine. Where am I, I do not know. How I got here, I am clueless. I make out the room to be my living room. My have been seated in a chair and I am helplessly bound by my hands and feet. Who could have done this to me? Why would someone do anything like this to me? A man suddenly appears from my hallway, his face concealed by a white mask. "Why are you doing this to me?" I ask, tears fluttering down my face. He ran a blade across my face ever so gently, I gasped for I thought he was going to cut me. "Please...please just let me go. I won’t tell anyone." I said with trembling lips. SMACK! He slapped me across the face. My forehead began to trickle blood. I thought to myself, "Oh my god, does he intend to kill me, or just to play around?" Suddenly he jerked his hand upwards towards his face and he flings his mask off. "Honey?" My babe, my love, he was responsible for all this. "Why? Why you doing this to me?" I whimper. "Why? YOU ASK WHY? You filthy whore, how dare you even ask why. You should know exactly why I've bound you bitch!" He slapped me once more, but with the knife this time. He sliced my face, opening wound for more blood to escape. "I found this you slut" He played a video on the TV. "Oh my god! How did you......?" "I have my ways." The video that he played was of me and Bryan, the man I've been seeing behind his back. It was of us fucking, because Bryan thought that it would be fun to video tape ourselves having sex, but I rejected the thought at first but he convinced me. "Oh my god." I began to bawl in tears. "You thought I wouldn't find out? You thought I'd be clueless of what you've been doing?" He slashed the other side of my face so suddenly. "Please Stop!" I cried out for sympathy. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" "Sorry won’t save you now!" He stood behind me, knife at my neck. "You know what the best part about all of this was?" I whimpered, crying for a chance at redemption, "please just let me go. I'm sorry!" He then said to me, "the best part was how I killed your boyfriend in order to get this video!" "NOOOOOOOO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, thunderstruck about what he just said. He sliced my neck open, leaving my head on hinges with the rest of my body. "Sorry just doesn't cut it in the game of love." He said to me in my final seconds of life. Darkness suddenly takes over. I am dead. Valentines Day was my murderer.

Marked for Death! (Childhood Narrative)

It was my seventh birthday, and all my presents were coming to an end. My hopes were beginning to diminish, breaking into tiny pieces like dishes being thrown against the wall by a disgruntle woman who's pissed at her husband and whose marriage is in need of serious counseling. I asked my mom for one simple thing, one simple darn thing, and I didn't even get that from her. Matter of fact, she didn't get me or my brother anything for my birthday. I got your occasional toys, your occasional selection of clothes, and that sweater that your grandmother get you that she thinks is simply adorable but in reality is hideous beyond all reason. My twin and I were at the point of balling until we saw them. There they were, brand new shiny mossy green bikes, 5 speeds, and all ours. My brother and I did ball at that moment, but from excitement and simple joy. We jumped up and down, screaming our little lungs out, our fat pudgy bodies trying so hard to follow with the momentum of each action. We quickly sprinted as fast as our fat legs could carry us towards our new bikes. We hugged them, hugged our parents, and hugged the bikes again; we were like two little fat kids in a candy store. What we didn't know though, was that these two bikes were to mark us for death.

Our first incident occurred while coming home from our beloved junior high. My brother and I are always in a race to play the Nintendo. Whether it be racing to get up in the morning, to get home after school, or whether it be getting home from jogging at the junior high, it's always a race. Well, my mom used to force us to jog every day around 7, but us being these fat kids, we didn't like exercising. Well, it was a race to finish our laps before each other in order to arrive at our home before one another. My brother finished first because he began before me. He was sweating like a midsummer's day, for he rushed and quickly finished my mom workout standards. "I'm going to beat you home punk!" He cried out while riding away. I was barely beginning mounting my perfect bike that I received for my birthday. I rode right behind him, like a disgruntle driver tailgating a vehicle in front of them as a sign of being in a rush. I was determined to beat him in our race for our Nintendo. We were arriving at the corner of our street, he was sure that he had beaten me, and I was sure of defeat. I heard a screech, and a loud thud, and a CRASH! I looked at my brother ahead of me. He had lost control of his bike and had crashed into our neighbor's car. "Waa-haa!" I heard him cry. Balling as if a bowl of onions had been placed before him. I past him by and cruel as I was I laughed demonically at him for I had accomplished victory. 15 minutes later after I had arrived home he walked in, sniffling and whimpering, with my neighbor whose car he hit beside him. “You need to be more careful from now on okay. I don’t want to hear my car get hit again, or hear you crash for that matter.” He left smiling, and once he left I started snickering. I was like a hyena who laughed at anything possible, but without the excessiveness of the laughter. “Shut up Erik!” he cried out, almost yelling. My neighbor still recalls to this day that situation. He tells us that he and his wife were just watching a movie together when they heard a crash. He told us that he looked out the window and yelled out to his wife, “It’s the twins again, but this time he ran into the car!” He told us that he and his wife were laughing at this time. But my brother’s bike lived to tell the tale and lived to risk my brother’s life once more.

Now, in my situation, it took place on the same street, but a different situation. It was a Saturday afternoon, and my brother and I were anxiously waiting for the clock to hit 9:30, for that was the time my mom had set until we could head on outside to play. We were becoming impatient, as if we were at an airport waiting to be boarded and running late to a family reunion in Georgia. 9:30! Finally it had come. My brother and I rushed outside and didn’t look back, we grabbed our bikes and strode off into our street. What a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the plants were green and full of color, and my neighbor’s car in the corner still had that dent from my brother. An hour had passed and we were growing weary of only riding around our block and around a two block diameter from where we lived, that was my mother’s rule. As I grew more and more fatigued at what we were doing, I devised a new game to play, but that was the decision that marked me for this force called death. I compromised with my brother a little on this new activity, and we both agreed to do it. We decided to have a little bit fun and have a couple of races. We were totally breaking many of my Mother’s rules but also rule number one, “Never try to speed on your bikes boys! You might crash or lose control or something like that,” she told us as we took off on our new bikes for the first time. But, today, that rule would be broken. “On your marks. Get set. GO,” and my brother and I were off to the races. We were having so much fun that some of the other neighbor kids witnessed what we were doing and decided to join in on this fun. We spent about another hour doing this, and it didn’t seem that it would stop any time soon. But, the kids grew fatigued and all decided to head on home, plus it was about 90 degrees out, but we didn’t care one bit. “On your marks. Get set. GO!” We were off once more, but what I didn’t know, was that this race might just be my last! It was Erik in the lead, my brother trailing just behind him. My brother pulled ahead, but Erik just on his tail. OH! Erik just took the lead with this last push to the finish line. Erik has this race in the bag ladies and gentlemen. He’s going, going………….MUNCHED IT! “Oh my god, what just happened?” I thought to myself. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. My brother told me that I had lost control of the bike because of the excessive speeds we were reaching. I just sat their, contemplating on whether or not to get up. I looked around me, I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, none of my body parts lying about. “I think I’m okay,” I said to myself. But there it was, the sight that began my horrific state that followed. The side of my knee had been slashed. As I fell down to earth from the heights of my bike, my knee had scraped the edge of the fire hydrant that had been sticking out, but at the time I believed that I had been impaled. “Oh my god! My knee, it’s bleeding.” At that moment, I witnessed blood trickling from my battle wound. “OH MY GOD! I’M GOING TO DIE!” My blood was escaping from my body. The cement I was laying on had no right to have my blood droplets splatter upon it. “What’s that?” I looked at my wound, A BONE! Oh my god! My bone was sticking out. “Oh my god. My bone is sticking out,” I cried out and hollered, howling like a howler monkey finding a mate. But what I was to find out later on was that it was only a rock that had been lodged in my severed knee. My brother came cycling towards me. “Get up Erik!” He told me. “My bone Julio. It’s sticking out! I can see my bone!” I cried. “Stop lying stupid. I’m going to tell mom on you.” He replied. How could he possibly think that was lying to him? At this time he strode off to our house, leaving me to fend for myself. I just sat there, crying, wondering what was to happen to me, and thinking that these were my last moments in life. I slowly got up from the curb and hoped on one leg towards my house. “Am I going to make it? Do I have to end it now? What is my mom going to do to me.” All these thought and more ran through my head as I neared my home. I crept the front door open just slightly, for cautionary purposes. I witnessed no one. I tip toes through our threshold and into the kitchen. I tore a napkin from its roll, soaked it in water, and lightly dabbed my abrasion. To my amazement, my “bone” fell from my wound and fell upon the floor. A rock. A rock was to blame for my bone incident. I felt dim-witted now knowing that a rock confused me for my bone. I slightly and gently rubbed the napkin across my cut over and over again. My mom found out later on during the day, but I told her that I was trying to get onto my bike and fell that way. She gave me a questioning gaze, but went on with her business. I also yelled at my brother and gave him a few light blows to his forearm for leaving me, but I forgave him the next day. Death had a hit on me, but I didn’t let him take me. After that, we were to never race again.

Top 10 ways to win Homecoming King/Queen

1. Get the minorities to vote at your school: At some schools, the minorities don't vote. Just tell them that you'll be their friend and that the world will be a better place if they vote for you, but in reality your lying straight to their faces. It takes a bitch to lie to someones face like that, but a real bitch would do anything for that crown.



2. Manipulate the competition: Tell your competition that you'll vote for them if they vote for you. Everybody knows that your a backstabbing bitch and that you wont really vote for them, but your stupid ass competition might not know that. Your competitors may be your friends, but in the end all that wont matter, all because you know that they're losers and you'll be homecoming queen/king!



3. Hand out different crap: You might sway people with giving free stuff. But, they might lie to you and just take your crap. Or you can hand yourself out and promise people that they'll all have turns taking advantage of you.



4. Queen: Screw all the football players: If the football players have a great image of you, you'll surely win. But make sure you don't let them take pictures of you naked, because they'll send it around to everyone.
   
   King: Screw all the cheerleaders: the cheerleaders are all mainly popular. So, if you have sex with them, they will surely vote for you as well and tell their girlfriends to vote for you and you might get lucky with their friends to. But watch out, cheerleaders tend to carry all kinds of diseases, and crabs.



5. Advertise yourself better: posters may be good in telling people your running, but their are other methods. If you REALLY don't mind people having naked pictures of you, then send them to guys. Tell them that they'll have ALL THAT if they vote for you. But make sure they do vote for you, because if you don't, then your just going to give it up for nothing. But, on the other hand, it might be worth it.



6. Go up to anyone: Go up to anyone, random people if you have to, and tell them to vote for you. People might laugh or stare at you, but winning should be the 1st priority in mind You might be popular, but remember not everyone likes you because your a snobby hoe.



7. Have fun with the dress up days: If you dress up funny as hell and don't care how you look, or dress up slutty as hell, then people will know you and have your name in mind when voting comes around. If your popular, then people already think you dress up slutty as hell, but just dress sluttier than ever, preferably no clothing this time around.



8. Make friends fast: If your a loser and not known, or known as a loser, then don't even hope for a chance to win.



9. Become hot quick: people who are ugly and not hot, don't usually win these kinds of events. But, a change of style and changing how your face looks will surely get you some more votes. Some word of advice, don't run for homecoming if you are ugly as hell!



10. If all comes to last resort, start being the true bitch that you are and blackmail!: You might be desperate at this point, and you might be willing to win at all costs. So, all you have to do is black mail a couple of people here and there, tell them if you don't win you'll reveal some secret about them. Blackmailing someone could be fun for you. Plus, think about how freakin sweet it would be to have that crown on your head!

From Home to Coast (Color Story)

We were on our way to our destination of eternal bliss. We have been on the road, sky’s beautiful as a summers dream, for nearly five hours, but we were filled with a sense of serenity for we knew what destination lied ahead of us. We came to a halt in front of a gas station to fill up on gas and stock up on snacks for the remaining hour or so that was left in front of us. “I’ll go pay for the gas a grab some snacks. Want something Joe?” I asked. He replied, “yea, grab me some chips a hoy cookies and some oreos.” “I’ll take some Oreos as well,” said Jillian. I looked up in the sky, smiled as I did, not a cloud in sight. As the sun’s rays beat down on my face I thought to myself, “This is going to be some new life.” After the car was re-energized and we had our snacks to munch on, we took off once more. Anticipation was slowly but surely overcoming us all. “What’s the first thing we’re going to do once we get their?” asked Jillian. I replied by telling her in a serene-like tone, “We are first going to the apartment because I cannot stand one more minute in this crammed car.” An hour passed and we were really becoming overwhelmed with anticipation, but at the same time we were getting really irritated at the fact that we had not arrived yet. Just as we were reaching our peak of frustration, we saw it.

There it was, in the beyond, in all its beauty. “Yes!” Everyone shouted with a great roar of excitement and relief. The beach, where a person would seem at ease with the world.
As we drove alongside the coastline, we witnessed the beautiful waters, the sky giving off a sense of tranquility. Our friendship had bonded us together forever. Fate had sealed our futures together and we all, some how, got accepted to the same college. We arrived at the complex, and what we witnessed was nothing what we thought it would be. The complex was more than we expected. It was filled with the sense of morning glory aura, and our attention was grabbed by a beautiful fountain, sitting there with all its beauty. Its waters fluctuating with dazzling sparkle, and the glamorous detail carved within it. They soon left there afterwards, and they headed towards the beautiful scene of what was the ocean. They strolled alongside the sandy beach. As they did, Jillian asked me, “What kind of adventures do you think lies ahead of us?” I replied, “I don’t know Jillian, but whatever comes our way, we need to promise each other something.” Everyone stared at me, Jillian with her aqua marine eyes, Joe with his hazel, and asked, “What is it?” I replied, “We must promise each other to never destroy our friendship, no matter what the hardships.” Everyone nodded in approval, and replied, “We promise.”

Goldie (fairy tale)

Goldie is a 5 ft 3inch prostitute, 5 ft 6 with her hooker boots on, who had dirty blonde hair, perfect slim figure, and she works at The Kitty Box. Everyday she gets ordered by several different men who need a little action in their pathetic low life lives and she goes to their houses to please them. All these men always turn out to be the same type of person repeatedly. They usually have no family, they usually turn out to be horn dogs in desperate need of sex, and they all live in the slums of the wretched city she lives in. She wanted more out of life, and she was tired of being in fear everyday for the chance that she may receive an STD from a man she made a quick buck from, or that one man may be a killer out for blood. One day she was ordered by a person that was to pay her $10,000 for her services in 2 days. She thought that this customer was going to turn out to be the typical horn dog she has sex with all the time, but what was waiting for her was going to unexpected. The man told her over the phone to arrive at his play at noon on Thursday, and she did just that. Thursday afternoon strolled along and she made her way to his place. He lived in a run down apartment complex; drunk with pathetic men hanging out in the front leaning against their banged up ghetto cars, but this was no surprise to her. She walked around the complex, it reeked of putrid cat urine and throw up, “how disgusting,” she though. She finally came across apartment number 41A. The door was a solid egg white with a window right in the middle of it. She knocked on the door and waited for a reply. No one answered. She curiously turned the doorknob, checking for a possibility of an unlocked door. She is surprised when the door opened across the threshold. She calls out his name, nothing. She lets herself in and gently closes the door behind her.

She begins looking around, curious as she around the living quarters. There was a living room with a couch and a TV, and a countertop separated the kitchen form the living room. The kitchen had a little circle table on the side with two chairs and a high chair. “What is the high chair for?” She wondered. She placed her purse upon the table. She roamed in the living room, there she saw a couch, and rocking chair, and a baby swing. She automatically realized then that this man was married with a family. She wound up the crank and gently pushed the swing with her fingertips. She approached the TV that was on top a cabinet shelf; there she saw pictures of the man, his wife, and the baby. When her eyes lay upon the photos, she began to cry. Her tears came out of hatred, but this hatred was not towards the man or any member of this family, but hatred towards herself. She realized that what she was doing with her life had no meaning. She realized how society had forgotten their treasures most dear to them. She made her way towards the kitchen, once in there; she noticed that there was a little pot of soup on the stovetop. She touched the pot but immediately withdrew her finger for it was still hot. Where was the man, she did not know, but the more time she spent in his household, the more remorse she felt for the mother and child. She walked cautiously down the hall; she passed the restroom, catching glimpse of a toothbrush, a hairbrush, and some diapers. She came across the last door of the hallway. She had a feeling that she should not step into the room of a complete stranger, but curiosity got the best of her. She slowly crept the door open and she stepped foot into the bedroom. She glanced throughout the room at first, and then she began examining different belongings. She first noticed the bed in the room, headboard up against the far end of the wall. Right next to the bed laid a wooden babies crib. Tears escaped from her eyes once more and strolled down her cheeks. She opened the drawer that was near the crib. Little infant clothes were folded neatly within it. He must have forgotten that he had ordered a prostitute for that day. An hour passed. “Thud!” The man arrived back to the apartment with his wife and child. The woman noticed the babies swing was operating. She stopped the swing, but was confused at the sight. “Honey, did you start the swing?” He replied with a no. The wife put the baby into the swing and started it into motion once more. The husband noticed that the lid to the soup was partially off. He questioned his wife, asking her if she had done that, but she denied it. The husband caught glimpse of a purse upon the table, and now he realized what he had forgotten. He swiftly hid the purse out of site and he nervously thought of the possibility that the prostitute may be in the house. There was a rustle sound beckoning from bedroom. The husband and wife jolted from sudden fright. The husband then knew that she was what made the sound. The wife swiftly made her way to the bedroom with whatever she could grab at arms distance, which happened to be her umbrella. The husband frantically tried to prevent the wife from entering the bedroom, but it was too late. Goldie was fast asleep on the bed, dreaming away. “What the hell is going on here?” The wife screamed. Goldie awoke from her slumber and was astonished that she had fallen asleep and was still present when they arrived back. Goldie began to cry, and explained to the wife that her husband had ordered a prostitute. The wife was devastated and sat on the foot of the bed. The husband screamed with great fierce in his voice. She became fearful and she ran off. What happened to the family, she does not know. What she does know is that her future can only go up from here.