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Friday, April 11, 2008

Dread

"Mommy!" she cried. I stumbled out of bed and grabbed my body to Sara's bedroom in a zombie -like motion. "Is it the monster again?" I asked in a groggy tone. For the second time tonight she woke me up for some imaginary thing she made up in her head. As I walk into the room she is under her blanket. "He's back mommy." she said with trembling lips. "Where is he this time?" I said while rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "He went into my closet." I walked towards the closet and as I open it I say to her, "There is no one in here honey." as I opened the closed staring into my daughter's tearing eyes. "Mommy!" she shrieked. I awake in a room consumed with darkness; I crawl in search for anything familiar. I slide my hands against a wall, and then a light comes on behind me. I turn in shock for what I saw was a bed with my daughter placed upon it. I run towards her but I run into an invisible wall, and I figured that it was plexy glass or something. I bang on the glass and call her name, but she can't hear me. The door to her room opens and a man appears with his identity concealed with a black ski mask. Behind that mask I felt he was smirking at me. He sluggishly approached Sara and I feared the worst. I bang on the glass harder and scream for Sara. He runs his fingers through her hair. "NOOOOOO!" I scream. "Leave her alone!" But my cries for her have no effect. He stops and walks towards me and puts his hands against the glass. He knew I was watching. The next thing I knew, the lights shut off and again I am engulfed by darkness, unaware of what is to become of my Sara behind that glass. I can't help her, not this time.

1 comments:

Unknown said...

This is dread, the worst kind. There needs to be more figurative language and sensory details...a lot more. Show the story, don't just tell it.